best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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