that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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