If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
