McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
