I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
