party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
