I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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