So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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