worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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