it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
