It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
