when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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