I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
