I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
