so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize