Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
