go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
