That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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