Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
