Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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