after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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