I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
