he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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