FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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