You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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