so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
