You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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