ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
