I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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