There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
