im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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