piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
