Can i not drive my cunt home
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
