To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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