I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
