like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i would one night stand the shit outta him
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
