Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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