Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
