More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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