You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
