ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
