feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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