Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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