there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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