What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
