we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The uberlube is also flammable
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
