Duck Duck Cougar?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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