Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
