I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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