It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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