Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize