tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
