Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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