I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
