Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
