I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
