8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
