Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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