I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
