Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
