About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
