Your mouth is God's brothel.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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