The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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